Stigma Associated With Online DatingOn April 28, 2017 by abah guru
When I suddenly became single again after being married a few years, I wasn’t really sure how I was going to get back into the dating scene. I wasn’t looking for anything specific, had no preconceived notions, and certainly wasn’t thinking about getting married again. All I wanted to do was get out and have some fun, meet some new people, and maybe make some new friends along the way.
Being almost forty at the time, most of my friends – both male and female – were married. Quite a few had single friends that they wanted to introduce me to, but I had done the blind date thing in the past with sketchy results. Meeting people at work could be problematic, and although I had some attractive co-workers I really didn’t want to get into trouble with my boss.
Some of you may remember the novelty of chat rooms on Yahoo. I’d spent a lot of time playing on BBS, but the near real time interactive nature of the chat room became addictive. Before too long I discovered Yahoo personals and the idea of trying to meet someone online entered my consciousness.
Meet a real person online? That seems like something only losers would do right? Amazingly enough, I still hesitate a little when people ask how my wife and I met
I signed up for Yahoo, placed an ad, and waited for the women to flood my inbox. After a few days had passed and I received very few responses, I thought online dating was a fad that really sucked. But instead of just waiting, I decided to browse through ads of women in my local area and send them a message. (Which was a huge lesson learned: Men must be proactive and not wait for women to respond.)
I moved on to match.com after using Yahoo for a month, and it was on match.com that I ended up meeting the girl I married almost two years later. Our introduction happened a few days after I joined the service. I had pretty specific search criteria identified, she was on the top of my results, I sent her an email, and we met in person a few weeks later.
When people would ask how we met, we would turn red, look at each other, then down to our shoes and kind of mumble “Uhhh, we met online. It’s legit, we’re not losers or anything.”:)
Ten years have passed and the embarrassment is long gone. Many people have used online dating services to meet the person of their dreams, or just someone to get together with to pass a few hours. There does seem to be more older people using the services, and when I say older I mean from late 20’s to people in their 60’s.
There is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact man find it to be a more respectable option than meeting someone out at a bar or party.
Points to keep in mind for online dating success:
- Create as complete a profile as possible, and be honest.
- Think about the attributes of the person you would like to meet (age, education, height, weight, distance from you), this will be your search criteria.
- Once you have identified someone you would like to meet, make contact through the site.
- Don’t use offensive language, be polite in your email, relax, and be yourself. Use a spell checker if necessary!:)